Never Be Afraid to Trust an Unknown Future to a Known God

Maggie left for preschool at the Moss's home this morning leaving the two littles at home with me. Jonathan had physical therapy so he was gone for the morning as well.  Aaron was causing restless trouble and so I took my que to bundle them up and head outside.  It has been particularly cold and humid this past week, but this morning the windows weren't frozen over when I drove Michael to school (because he has recently refused to get out of bed to ride the bus with Andrew) so I knew the "bite" wouldn't be quite as intense when we left the house.  

I loaded them in the stroller, wrapped them in their blankies and started off down Mesman away from the park.  I love going for a walk because when it is cold, there isn't much talk and I am left alone to my thoughts.  So often at home there is chaos, and daily tasks blaring at me so I don't have time to really see my thought processes through.  Going on a walk brings serenity and time to think.  Lately I have been feeling so oppressed by thoughts of our future.  Of my future.  Mourning the life I have spent my entire life dreaming of and envisioning.  Mourning who I thought we would be.  As we walked the tears came and I remembered my thought after reading Elder Bednar's most recent conference talk... Christ brings hope.  Hope in the very moment that I am in.  When the Savior asks us to cast our burdens at His feet I find my greatest burden is tomorrow.  And tomorrow's tomorrow.  An endless sea of scary, dark, unpredictable, unmanageable, too heavy, too sad, unforeseen tomorrow's that I don't want to face.  I don't want to know how hard it is going to get and I don't want to live that hard.  And then these words came to my mind...

At the time I couldn't remember when I had heard them before, but they flooded me.  And I knew I had to cast my burden on the Lord.  I had to give him all of my tomorrow's.  Every-single-one.  Because I really don't know what my tomorrow's will be.  From where I stand now they are tomorrow's I don't want to face.  But I don't see what He sees.  I don't know what He knows.  I only KNOW that God is love.  My entire life He has been a God of nothing but love, patience, goodness, and kindness.  A God of miracles.  A God that has given me so much joy.  Is He not constant?  Is He not unchangeable?  Then cast all my tomorrow's at his feet and have HOPE in my today.  How can you look into the face of a child so perfect and not have hope?  Not have reason to rejoice, to smile, to breathe peacefully?  Hope is my today.  Because today, is a beautiful day.  And if every today there is hope, we will be okay.

So we continued on our walk winding up and down the streets of the neighborhood past Redwood Park.  We stopped to watch the flock of Canadian geese, I thought for sure Aaron would chase them into the sky, but he timidly stood back and watched.

"Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself." 

Matthew 6:34