Be Renewed

The weight of the planet rests on the shoulders of a caregiver.  EVERY SINGLE THING IN LIFE feels like it depends on you.  Last night at 1:50am I got my first customer.  Aaron, the 4 year old, had a leaky pull-up and he and his bed were soaked.  I got up and stripped his bed, found new jammies and a pull up, made him up a new bed and tucked him in bed.  2:10am, my second customer.  Jonathan needed his urine bag emptied and his condom catheter he felt was coming loose.  I emptied the bag and checked the cath.  Sure enough it was pulling off so I replaced it.  2:20am while still assisting customer #2, #3 enters the room.  Tears and whimpering from the two year old.  I nestle her into my spot of the bed and she goes back to sleep.  I drain Jonathan's bag one more time and head to the couch to try to sleep because I don't want to rustle the newly comforted two year old.  I couldn't fall asleep on the uncomfortable couch and at 3:15am I hear screeching from customer number four.  The disoriented 6 year old had wet the bed and couldn't find me anywhere.  I got up with her, washed her down, changed her clothes and tucked her into the nest I had made for myself on the couch.  By now, the two year old in my spot on the bed was back into a deep sleep so I put her back in her bed and I reclaimed my spot back in bed.  I lay there wide awake.  My mind was fussing.  Tomorrow morning the 5:30am back to school routine would begin again.  I began to feel defeated before the day had even begun.  As I lay there feeling stretched thin the thought came to my mind, "Have I ever forsaken you?"  Suddenly the outcome of tomorrow no longer depended upon anything besides a choice I needed to make.

I woke up to pray with Adam before he left for early morning seminary and then began my morning scripture study.

As I read Eph 4:23 the Lord had a message for me:  "Be renewed in the spirit of the mind."  And I remembered the loving words my Father spoke to me in the night, Have I ever forsaken you?  And renewal in my mind came and reassurance once again, that I could do this.